Style Exercises

I decided to use this first exercise to get different perspectives on the grammar and punctuation in this story. Multiple people checking for mistakes usually works much better than one person. 

Exercise #: 2 Options in punctuation

​Fun is a very funny thing It is so over utilized by some and so under utilized by others A goal for life should be to have fun and love what you do while you do it This world is too demanding and challenging for us not to have as much fun as we work Work smart and play hard is probably one of my favorite lines Whether your idea of fun is to write poems all day play Frisbee go mountain biking bird watch  or go to a club until three in the morning it is crucial that you get out and do those things Although we will always remember our accomplishments because of all the hard work and dedication they took we will almost never remember them with the same unrestricted joy and pleasure as when we remember what we loved It is not just a matter of remembering to enjoy something when you think about it as a memory but it is crucial to live in the moment and appreciate it for what it is The past is a great place to visit but not the stay Yesterday is the past, the future is uncertain and today is a gift hence why we call it the present Life is short but if you do it right then one lifetime as all you'll ever need My father gave me some words of advice which I plan to follow very closely If all you do in college is party you're an idiot If all you do in college is study and not enjoy yourself you're an idiot There is a happy middle for almost everything the riddle lies in finding that middle ground

I wanted to use this exercise to see if other people thought that there may be some missing detail, or even too much detail. I usually just start writing and forget to include parts that would help to relate that experience to another person. 
 

Exercise #: 9 Tone coloring

Rene-original

​The ocean is one of the greatest teachers in the world. No university can teach the things that she can. I refer to the ocean as a she out of endearment. I am an avid kayaker/spear fisherman/diver/ocean fanatic. She has taught me enough in my eighteen years to last me a lifetime. I have directly seen her overpower these mighty machines that we build in an attempt to bypass her power. I was spear fishing off of an oil rig one morning when I saw a supply boat show up to restock the rig workers. I stayed treading water watching the boat come closer and closer until it was finally close enough to the deck to tie up. The men on the boat then did something which I view as a slap in the face. They threw their trash, junk food, and unneeded parts overboard and proceeded to the top of the rig for some work I assume. I was already upset at the lack of respect these men had for her. Forty minutes later she decided to take offense to that lack of care these people had showed. The swells had picked up considerably since the men left the boat, but not enough to merit leaving the water (the fishing was just too good to pass up). A fairly large swell came in and rocked the bow of the boat straight into one of the pilings. The crack sounded like a baby lightning bolt. The boat began to take on water and slowly sink. At the surface was chaos with all the tools and supplies falling out and the water rushing, yet underwater it was calm and the boat looked as if though it was peacefully gliding down to the sea floor. She taught me that day that if she is mistreated, you will be ruined in the most peaceful looking way possible. That principle applies to much more than just the ocean but that is for another discussion. I left before the workers came back but I can only wonder what they thought of themselves. Did they feel upset because their boat was gone, or did they realize that their treatment of the waters probably merited what happened to them? I'll probably never know and I don't want to know. She will never teach you every detail, she will only point you in a path and leave it up to you to follow or stray from that path. She shows and you decide what you learned. I have also seen her treat situations with the kind of care that a mother has for her newborn child. Miami is a common breeding ground for many different types of sea turtles. The waters had been rough, and the current had been strong for weeks. By some amazing feat which I have yet to explain, the rough conditions cease to exist. In the days following the initiation of the peace, thousands of baby sea turtles rush the water's edge. Had the waves been crashing and currents ripping through, many of those small turtles would have been killed outright. It seemed as if she knew that there was new life coming and she had to give them the care they needed. I love the ocean and will never stop living in awe of what she's capable of.

One-Syllable words

​The sea is a great guide. No place can teach the things that she can. I love the things I am able to do with the sea. She has showed me so much. I have seen her sink the boats we make to go over he. I was spear fishing off of an oil rig when I saw a boat show up. I watched the boat come until it was able to tie up. The men on the then threw their trash, junk food, and parts in the sea and left. I was mad at the lack care. She decided to pick up the swell. A big swell came in and hit the boat on the dock.Then the boat sank. The sea was mad but glad at the same time. I left but thought what the men must have thought. I can only wonder what they thought of themselves. She will not teach you all there is to know. She will only point you in a path and leave it up to you to go or stray from that path. She shows and you pick what you want to learn. I have seen her treat things with the kind of care that a mom has for her child. The sea had been rough. By some feat which I have yet to solve the rough sea went soft. In the time of the calm, baby sea turtles ran to the sea's edge. Had the waves been rough they would have died. It was as if she knew that there was new life and she had to give them the care they want. I love the sea and will be in awe of her for the rest of my life.

Two-Syllable words

​The ocean is one of the greatest teachers in the world. No school can teach the things that she can. I refer to the ocean as a she out of love. I am an avid spearman /diver/ocean junky. She has taught me enough in my eighteen years to last me a lifetime. I have seen her destroy these mighty machines that we build in an attempt to bypass her power. I was spear fishing off of an oil rig one morning when I saw a supply boat show up to restock the rig workers. I stayed treading water watching the boat come closer and closer until it was close enough to the deck to tie up. The men on the boat then did something which I view as a slap in the face. They threw their trash, junk food, and parts in the water and went to the top of the rig. I was upset at the lack of respect these men had for her. Forty minutes later she took offense to that lack of care these people had showed. The swells had picked up since the men left the boat, but not enough to merit leaving the water (the fishing was just too good to pass up). A fairly large swell came in and rocked the bow of the boat straight into one of the pilings. The crack sounded like a baby lightning bolt. The boat began to take on water and slowly sink. At the surface was chaos with all the tools and supplies falling out and the water rushing, yet under the surface it was calm and the boat looked as if though it was gliding down to the sea floor. She taught me that day that if she is abused, you will be reminded that you are not the baddest thing on earth. I left before the workers came back but I can only wonder what they thought of themselves. Did they feel upset because their boat was gone, or did they figure out that their treatment of the waters probably caused what happened to them? I'll likely never know and I don't want to know. She will never teach you every detail, she will only point you in a path and leave it up to you to follow or stray from that path. She shows and you decide what you learn. I have also seen her treat things with the kind of care that a mother has for her newborn child. The waters had been rough, and the current had been strong for weeks. By some feat which I have yet to explain, the rough waters ceased to exist. In the days after the start of the the peace, thousands of baby sea turtles rushed the water's edge. Had the waves been crashing and currents ripping through, many of those small turtles would have been killed. It seemed as if she knew that there was new life coming and she had to give them the care they needed. I love the ocean and will never stop living in awe of what she's capable of.